In this week’s Plugged In by Wired Parents, the smartphone isn’t just shaping your child’s world, it’s reshaping yours too.

Two UK fathers are taking the Department for Education to court, demanding a full ban on smartphones in all English schools. Their argument? Current policies don’t cut it. Phones are still fuelling bullying, distraction and online harm, from the classroom to the school bus.

At home, another debate is heating up: Should parents be checking their child’s phone? More experts say yes and not as a punitive measure but as a normal, open part of raising a digitally literate kid.

But perhaps the most eye-opening news? The problem might not be their screen time but ours. New research shows that heavy parental social media use leaves a trace, even when phones are put away. Parents who scroll more talk 29% less with their kids, losing vital moments for connection, learning and trust.

TL;DR: Phone bans head to court, experts say it’s time to check your child’s device and new science says the scroll that’s really getting in the way might be yours.

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Recent research has uncovered a concerning phenomenon: parents who spend significant time on social media speak substantially less to their children during play even when their phones are nowhere to be seen.

A study presented at the Digital Media and Developing Minds International Scientific Congress found that mothers who used social media extensively spoke 29% less to their children during play sessions compared to light users. Crucially, this occurred even when their phones were absent from the room.

The research examined 65 toddlers aged 2-5 and their mothers in Alabama. Heavy social media users averaged 169 minutes daily on platforms, whilst light users spent just 21 minutes. Notably, other screen activities such as checking email or weather showed no correlation with reduced conversation.

The findings suggest social media creates what researchers term "cognitive residue" - mental preoccupation that persists after logging off. Social networks deliberately present tailored content designed to maintain engagement, potentially creating ongoing mental distraction during crucial parent-child interactions.

Language exposure remains fundamental to child development from birth through age 18, directly correlating with improved brain development, academic outcomes, and communication skills. Parent-child play conversations also support socio-emotional development, executive function, and emotional regulation.

Perhaps most significantly, children learn priorities through parental attention patterns. When parents' mental focus repeatedly shifts toward digital concerns, children interpret this as a signal of relative importance.

Establish phone-free interaction periods: Set specific times for undivided child attention, thinking in manageable 15-minute increments rather than attempting constant availability.

Practice mindful presence: Remember that children experience only the present moment - compartmentalise other concerns during play time.

Reduce social media frequency: Limit daily check-ins and session duration to prevent inadvertent conversation reduction whilst freeing additional family time.

Monitor mental impact: Pay attention to how social media content affects your mental state and implement strategies to mitigate these effects during child interactions.

This research adds crucial context to family technology discussions. While parents focus extensively on children's screen time, the evidence suggests parental digital habits deserve equal scrutiny for their impact on child development.

Two fathers are taking legal action against the Department for Education, arguing that current smartphone guidance for schools inadequately protects children from harm.

Will Orr-Ewing and Pete Montgomery warned Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson of judicial review proceedings, contending that allowing headteachers to decide smartphone policies creates inconsistent safeguarding.

While 90% of English schools have banned mobile phone use, implementation varies significantly. Most secondary schools (79%) allow students to keep phones while banning use, only 8% require phones to be handed in, and just 3% prohibit them entirely.

The fathers argue this patchwork approach enables dangerous smartphone use. Freedom of information requests revealed one school reported 55 smartphone-related safeguarding incidents to social services in one academic year, with 17 cases referred to police.

Documented concerns include boys being filmed naked in changing rooms, girls contacted by predators during lessons and young children shown graphic pornography on school transport.

The fathers advocate for "brick phones" only - basic devices for emergency communication. They argue current evidence demonstrates children cannot use smartphones safely in school environments.

Recent government guidance acknowledged smartphones can facilitate bullying, sexual harassment, and pornography access among pupils, advising schools to "carefully consider how this is managed."

The Department for Education maintains schools already possess banning powers and points to the Online Safety Act for additional protections. However, the legal challenge suggests voluntary measures have proven insufficient to protect pupils from documented harms.
🔗 Source: The Guardian

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As smartphones become a near-universal part of children’s lives, questions about parental oversight have become increasingly urgent. Should parents be checking their child’s phone? And if so, how often and how openly?

According to many child psychologists and digital safety experts, the answer is yes, with clear communication and boundaries.

The rationale is straightforward. Children and adolescents are growing up in a digital environment that is complex, fast-moving and often opaque. The content they consume, the people they interact with and the platforms they use are not always designed with their wellbeing in mind.

Unlike other areas of risk, such as learning to drive or crossing the road, children are often expected to navigate the online world alone. But evidence suggests this may be unrealistic. Research shows that the adolescent brain is still developing key skills related to impulse control, risk assessment and emotional regulation, skills that are crucial when it comes to digital communication.

As a result, some professionals recommend that parents have access to their child’s smartphone from the outset. This includes knowing the passcode and occasionally reviewing messages, apps and activity not as a punitive measure, but as part of wider discussions about safety and behaviour online.

“Transparency is key,” says one child safety advocate. “If children understand that this is about protection and learning not surveillance or punishment they are more likely to respond positively.”

Critically, the guidance suggests that this oversight should evolve with age and maturity. What is appropriate for a 10-year-old may not be appropriate for a 16-year-old. The aim is not to monitor indefinitely, but to help children develop the skills to manage their online life independently and responsibly.

Proponents argue that regular, open phone checks can help parents identify signs of cyberbullying, inappropriate content, unhealthy relationships or digital overuse, issues that children may struggle to recognise or speak about without support.

However, there are also concerns about trust. Some parents worry that checking a phone could damage the parent-child relationship, or that it may encourage children to hide things or use secret accounts. Experts acknowledge these risks but stress that context matters.

“The best approach is one grounded in conversation,” says a clinical psychologist. “Parents should explain why the checks are happening, what they’re looking for, and how children can talk to them if something online makes them uncomfortable.”

Ultimately, the decision to check a child’s phone is a personal one, shaped by age, maturity, and the family’s values. But with increasing evidence of the risks young people face online, many believe that guided, transparent oversight can play an important role in keeping children safe while equipping them to handle the challenges of digital life on their own.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you check your child’s phone and if so, how often? Email us and let us know.

✅ Word Your Kid Probably Knows: “Ghosting”
When someone suddenly stops all communication without explanation. It can be hurtful and confusing for kids navigating friendships online.

🔧 Tech Tip for Tired Parents: Turn off notifications
Disable non-essential alerts on phones and apps to reduce distractions and compulsive checking.

📴 Offline Challenge of the Week: Walk & Talk
Go for a walk with your child and ask three open-ended questions. It’s a simple way to deepen connection away from screens.

Eight-year-old Maurice Adams Jr. was riding in the back seat of his mother’s car in Milledgeville, Georgia, when he noticed an elderly woman struggling to cross the street and climb a nearby staircase with her walker. He asked his mother if he could help, and when she pulled over, Maurice jumped out and gently assisted the woman, guiding her up the steps with care.

A passerby filmed the moment and shared the video to a local Facebook group, where it quickly went viral. At the top of the stairs, the woman and Maurice shared a brief hug before he ran back to the car. Maurice’s mother said the moment reflected the values she’s worked to instil in him: respect and kindness. The man who captured the moment later shared that he plans to meet with Maurice and give him $100 as a thank-you for his thoughtful gesture.

🔗 Read more about Maurice

Know of an amazing child or young adult? We would love to showcase achievements, resilience and integrity, now matter how large or small.

Get in touch and let us know and we’ll mention them in a future edition.

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A golf ball.

What letter comes next in the following sequence? D R M F S L T_

The answer is "D." Each letter represents one note in the diatonic musical scale: Do, Re, Mi, Fa, Sol, La, Ti, Do.

What has only two words but thousands of letters?

What is red and smells like blue paint?

Answers next week!

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